Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
-Alcoholics Anonymous, page 45
For the last 7 months, I have been employed as the Director (of operations – an important distinction) of a recovery community center. When I came to the center it was on life support, though other people might say otherwise. Its position in the community was questionable. People tended to know that the center existed, but few people understood what it was supposed to be and what was supposed to happen there. I have tried with all my might to bring vision to the role, to expand our services and our partnerships with other organizations, to embed into the recovery community at large to become a vital part of the community fabric.
I have had some limited successes in these efforts. We are open more hours and more days now, meaning we are more available to assist people who are reaching out for help. We offer more groups now. Heroin Anonymous, for example, is now available in our community every night of the week. All Recovery, a non-12 step, recovery support meeting is available 5 nights a week.
When I previously posted about shifting from living from desire to living from vision I still believed that this was the place I should be and that this is what I should be doing. I no longer believe that. I do believe that I was led here to meet the people that I’ve met and that the vision I have of recovery community can exist, and in fact shall exist at some point with the support of so many wonderful people I’ve met, but it won’t exist for this organization.
Everywhere I turn there is another broken relationship that I cannot fix. Everywhere I turn another organization tells me they are not interested in supporting or co-sponsoring something we are doing.
Finally, someone had the courage to tell me the truth. There are rumors about your boss, they said, rumors that whether or not they’re true, prevent everyone else in the community from engaging with you. If she will not step down from your organization, the only option for you is to start a new one.
At least I know now.