One of the things about a relapse is that you can see it coming and still feel powerless to do anything about it. In 12 step recovery they often tell us, however, that “in God’s economy nothing is wasted.” My relapse was a waste but I refuse to let the experience be wasted.
I’ll tell you this; coming back is not easy. Coming back I sat in meetings and wept for months. Coming back I felt shame that I cannot begin to describe. Had it not been for the kind people in the room, the one’s that didn’t judge me, that hugged me and told me how relieved they were that I was back (no matter how long or how skeptically they looked at me for the first three, six, nine moths) I could not be where I am now. I owe those people my life.
“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” We have much to catch up on.