Literally and figuratively.  I was driving from work to school a couple of weeks ago and had about 5 minutes to grab some lunch when I spotted a Taco Bell ahead of me.  Now, I’m no Taco Bell fan, really.  More of a Del Taco guy.  But there is something delightful about biting into a crisp, corn tortilla shell.  I love the sound, and it was fast so I signaled to make a right hand turn into the parking lot.  Someone was coming out of the drive at the same time so I slowed WAY DOWN so I could turn really sharp and get in, when I heard the screech of tires behind me a half a second before I was struck from behind.  Judging from the tire marks she only slammed on the brakes about 10 feet before she hit me at 40 MPH.  It sent my car sailing straight into the oncoming car that was exiting the driveway, and I had a head-on collision with him.

Oh, yeah.  The oncoming car was a police vehicle.

I had a head on collision with a cop.  (Oh my god can you imagine if that had happened while I was still using?  What a nightmare that would have been.)

So the back of my car was smashed.  The front of my car was smashed.  My computer flew off the seat and onto the floor and was smashed.  Two weeks later I still have a crippling headache.  My 2 major purchases of 2008, both destroyed in an instant.

The insurance company told me how much they think my car is worth.  A bizarrely low number considering that you cannot find my year/make/model under 70,000 miles within 400 miles of here, and when you do, or if you look 500 miles away, they are about $3000 more.  But that was over a week ago that I last heard from the adjuster.  In the meantime I’m in a rental car and my computer doesn’t work, and my head hurts too much to do anything about it, plus with all the school I missed, I fear being able to get caught up.  And it’s clear that I have a concussion.  Making sense is hard.

I discovered that the pain pill they put me on isn’t strictly speaking an NSAID.  It appears to be a partial opioid-agonist.  So I guess there is a potential to abuse it, and that makes me want to not take it.  It it better to be in pain or is it better to be running the risk of habituating using narcotics?

Hopefully the healing will speed up and I won’t have to ask that question much longer.

  1. Oh, Chris, what a mess. I’m so sorry. Also so glad you aren’t using!

    Wish I had useful things to say, but I don’t. I will however send positive energy your way. Good luck. Hang in there.


  2. Is the pain diminishing any? I hope it is.

    So am I right to say you follow a “I’m not addicted to ETOH or THC, etc., I’m addicting to manipulating my neurotransmitters.” I follow that general line of reasoning. What do you make of addicts who use anti-depressants, etc?


    1. Yeah, it is my neurotransmitters I like to mess with. Because I need to. I would probably have killed myself a long time ago if I hadn’t found a safe and effective way to get my dopamine levels up to something resembling what other people have. And I discourage anyone from taking medical advice from people in 12 step meetings over a medical professional.


    2. Heroin is the most common drug available in the market. So, its addiction number is higher across the world. Many heroin addiction treatment centers use holistic and natural therapy rather than the typical meditation process to heal the victims. This therapy helps people to understand their social obligation.


but what do you think?

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