The Last Chance Texaco

Autopilot

Chris — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:29:17 +0000

Maybe the whole holiday ordeal was harder on me than I thought. It looks like I’ve been on autopilot for awhile and it has kind of kicked my ass. Now I’m doing the whole Oprah “I’m mad at myself” Winfrey thing, and while I’m writing this partially as a form of quick confession, I’m also [...]

Almost Forgotten

Chris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:44:16 +0000

I started writing to save my life. Even today, but most especially in the earliest days of my recovery the act of writing helped me maintain perspective and focus. I wrote in a medium that was publicly accessible because I was so profoundly alone. The feedback I got really encouraged me and helped motivate me. All [...]

For unto you is born this day in the City of Iowa (City)

Chris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:05:05 +0000

The much hoped for daughter/neice/granddaughter who was due on Christmas Eve has arrived fashionably late. And we couldn’t be happier. My sister has 2 boys already so I think she was ready for the girl our late grandmother had predicted.

Conversion - Honesty, Open-Mindedness, Willingness, and the Nativity

Chris — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:33:29 +0000

I am a product of Western Civilization. I occasionally joke that I am in recovery from Western Civilization. I am still occasionally sarcastic. But I am a product of my dominant culture and as much as I pretend to resist it that means that I am the product of a Judeo-Christian tradition. I am also a [...]

The 2nd Christmas

Chris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:19:37 +0000

Finally. The days are getting longer. I start getting sad in September when the color of the light changes. More than any other month, bad things have happened to me in December. Apprehension and all the demands for merriness combine to make me feel guilty, as well as sad. If there ever was a time [...]

I have the right to

Chris — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 03:59:36 +0000

Though it was written as an amendment to the Al-Anon bill of rights, they are all such good and sensible ideas that they could be embrased by anyone in recovery. An excerpt: 14. I have the right to say ‘I don’t know’. 15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior. 16. I have [...]

A little “thank you” prayer that it all turned out this way

Chris — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 10:59:49 +0000

It was in the early hours of the morning of the day after my birthday two years ago that I was given my first step. It didn’t feel much like a gift at the time, but that’s exactly what it was; a gift of grace. Out of money and out of drugs, stood up on my [...]

Holiday on Lies

Chris — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 06:58:02 +0000

Marc suggested that I start going to Al-Anon eons ago, even before this round of insanity began. But since I’ve decided that I’ve been sober long enough now, and that it is what I believe my creator would have me do, I plan on being involved in my mom’s life, I think it’s also time [...]