Idaho

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My favorite writer, Paul Monette, along with several collections of poetry, an acclaimed collection of essays, and two biographies, one of which won the National Book Award, wrote a bunch of pulp fiction.  It is pulp.  The stories aren’t challenging. They don’t really give one much to think about. But they are so beautifully written [...]

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Trey McIntyre's dance company performing “Leatherwing Bat” last month at Jacob’s Pillow in Becket, Mass

[/caption] There are all kinds of things that I think automatically, answers I give without consideration, judgements I enter without a fair trial. Moving beyond my knee-jerk psychic construct, at least with regard to drugs and alcohol, and [...]

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I don’t get to see my sister often; usually at family events with our dad. She lives in Alaska with her daughter and husband. She has maintained a close relationship with our dad over the years, and I have only recently restored that relationship. Stephanie and I, the two oldest of four siblings, most closely [...]

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That was a more emotional weekend than I expected. I learned all kinds of things about my grandmother that I never knew; saw pictures of her I had never seen. It was clear from looking at them that she was as happy or happier in the last ten years of her life than [...]

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I spent yesterday in service to AA. I began the day at 7 AM with my friends Owen and Robert driving to Oregon to attend my first Area Assembly, the semi-annual meeting where the General Service Representatives (me) from around southern Idaho (the area) gather to conduct the business of Alcoholics Anonymous. It [...]

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Ive been knocked out of the race But Ill get better” Sting, Lithium Sunset I’m trying to give myself a break, because I had bronchitis and all. But objectively, I feel like what’s going on is clinical depression. When I got to treatment I was full on manic. That slowed down. I bounced [...]

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But to my credit I did go to the clinic yesterday and get some antibiotics. I don’t know the medical term but my sinuses and lungs have been carefully coated with rubber cement. I wish I could say that I’m adjusting well but I’m kind of struggling. I’ve been faking it well. [...]

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so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. from One Art by Elizabeth Bishop Yesterday I stopped by an [sic] old friend’s house to pick up the worldly goods and the junk about which I become sentimental; stuff I left in his care a couple of months ago when [...]

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The last thing I did before I took the 14 hour bus ride to Pocatello was get high. That’s sexy isn’t it? Shooting up in the bathroom of a Greyhound station? There’s a way to meet quality friends. So then I’m trapped on a bus for fourteen hours wishing I could fuck the [...]

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I’ll be gone for awhile. I’m checking in to a rehab and I expect I’ll be gone for at least a month. I just need to do something about this problem before someone does something about it for me. I’m not happy. I’m not content. I don’t want to go on living like this. And while [...]

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