Addiction

I had just left the all time, well at least one of the bottom 10, all time worst AA meetings I have ever been in. I’m not judging. I’m just saying. I left grateful that I’m me, and I’m at this place in recovery. Enough said. So the 10:00 meeting I was [...]

Remember these? High school gym shorts from the 1980’s. Wow. At the time I thought they were pretty hot, at least on certain guys. You had to have pretty great legs to pul[ this look off, but there were always a couple of guys in gym class who fit the bill. I think the poly-knit [...]

First of all, what the fuck happened to my wigits? They’re just gone. Erased. Blank. Vanished. I have to reconstruct every last custom setting that was in them which is a giant pain in the butt. Tatum O’Neil is on crack? Are you kidding me? Tatum O’Neil allegedly smokes [...]

It’s not a recognized milestone of course. I just happen to like the number, and considering that in the early part of this blog, in it’s first incarnation as methedup, which is republished here, I truly was counting days so I thought I’d just revisit the practice. There is a place in the book that [...]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The light is not an illusion. The tunnel is. -unknown I noticed this sign above the door of a meeting I occasionally go to and it just struck me. It seemed profound enough, but it wasn’t till I woke up this morning and read Sweet Pea’s post where [...]

This post was originally published Feb. 10, 2008 and was taken down pending adjudication of another case. Now that has been done and I am restoring the post. To choose what is difficult all one’s days, as if it were easy, that is faith. W. H. Auden They tell me I seemed relaxed; that I did not [...]

Thou canst not travel on the path before thou hast become that Path itself. - Helena Blavatsky Several years ago, during an especially unmanageable part of my addiction history, I had a dream that I was driving. I was desperately trying to get somewhere and I seemed to have the wrong directions. I was talking [...]

“There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 58 That pretty much describes me at any given point in my history; emotionally and mentally ‘disordered’, gravely. I have at various times been diagnosed with [...]

“Every beginning is an ending and every ending a beginning; a turning point. They are passages through which, if we are willing, we may pass into a new and better life.” - Chris M. Some turning points are big, obviously, like the one I came to a year ago when I could not go on. [...]

I am a creature of habit. I am not as flexible as I imagine myself to be. I am not unique. Sometimes I am able don a guise of pliancy convincing enough to fool everyone, including me, but it is made of denial and pride. Underneath that guise I find myself [...]

“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 77 .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging here [...]

“Let’s see if I can make this easy.” - Maria Kutschera von Trapp My experience in recovery and in taking the steps is that what began as a “turning point” or a “moment of clarity” 51 weeks ago was the beginning of a series of points or moments which have each brought me to a keener [...]