Addiction: the gift that keeps on giving.

This year we get a matched set of holiday mug shots.  In less than a week mom had violated the terms of her release on bail and violated a restraining order.  Sober people, and I mean that in both the physical and emotional sense, don’t violate restraining orders, do they?  Now, even if her husband did tell her to come home, she isn’t above the law; and the law said she couldn’t come within 100 feet of him.

To be fair, I’ve done the same thing.  Once upon a time, in the early 90s, the last time I was in any sort of serious relationship, Charlie had thrown me out of his house.  We tended to be a little violent when we were coming down.  Well, since he is a divorce attorney it was nothing for him to walk into work and get a restraining order.  I got this shitty room in a shitty residence hotel in Wilmington, CA,  but was strung out most of the time.  I would check in to the 1350 Club and stay there as long as I could.  Charlie came in most nights and of course he was high, too.  But while he wandered around looking for asian boys, I’d lock myself in a room and cry.

One night after begging him to let me come home and see him, for some reason I remember that he said to come, but who knows, I got on a bus from Wilmington to San Pedro and went to the back door of the house we had shared.  The house sat on a corner lot and overlooked Catalina Island.  I missed the house and the view and the life I had before the drugs took over as much as I felt like I missed him.  I still miss the house.  I love Google Earth for flying around the neighborhood and reminiscing.  I rang the bell at the back door and I saw Charlie come into the kitchen in a white bathrobe, and rather than come through the kitchen to open the door he picked up the telephone and called 911.  ”Please come quick,” I heard him say.  ”There’s a crazy person at my house.”  I said something like, “I’ll show you crazy,” and put my fist through the back window and sat down on the porch and waited for the police.  I don’t even remember if I spent the night in jail or what happened.  It was one of the last times I saw him, though.

When you find yourself in a situation where you have trouble handling a loved one who is high on drugs, call a drug addiction helpline and get the assistance that you need.

I’ve never been involved in domestic violence, when I was sober.  I’ve never been party to a restraining order sober.  I’ve never punched out a window or screamed anything about being crazy.  I’ve felt like it, but I haven’t done it.

So while I may be tempted to judge my mom for what is going on in her life, we’re not really different at all.  I just haven’t drunk or used in quite a while, I found people who understand me that I can be honest with, and one day at a time, things are better.

(I still miss that house, though.)