Comments on: A Poor Connection

By: James

James — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:51:23 +0000

By: Chris

Chris — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:14:05 +0000

That makes perfect sense to me, too. One of the things that I think lots of us addicts do is recognize a hole in our being and then try to figure out what we can fill it with – instead of wondering what goes in there. I also loved bobbie’s analogy of having the thread change color.

Waiting for the universe to take the next move is what I’m doing, more out of necessity than desire. I’ve been getting worse rather than better and am on a new round of antibiotics. That tells me that maybe I should lie a bit lower.

By: warrior scout

warrior scout — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:57:37 +0000

so maybe i am being preachy here and if that’s the case, my apologies. my intention is to offer another perspective. just like in a meeting, please take what you need and leave the rest….

one book that has shaped my sanity in sobriety is pema chodron’s “when things fall apart”. she’s buddhist, however that is not why i adore the sentiment. her history is partially why i buy in. she was a housewife living in new mexico and married to a trucker. she was relatively happy and felt her life was grounded and going to grow. her husband came home one day and told her he had met another woman and would be leaving. she was, appropriately, devatstated. having no idea what to do next, she decided to go to India as several of the Beatles were there studying spirituality. she thought that sounded as good an idea as any. through a series of events, she has become a world class Buddhist nun, teacher, author, and lecturer. She has transformed her life and the lives of many, many, many others.
So when she writes about things falling apart, I happen to believe her. She has been in the throes of shit falling apart.
In her book, she offers that when things fall apart, what we need to do is NOT do what we always do. Instead, pause and let the universe make the next move. Don’t fill the empty space caused by a crumble with ourselves, but let the space remain and fill itself naturally. This is change. This is growth. She reminds us that things continue to fall apart and come together . That is life.

Chris – I believe you are much more grounded and healthy than you may think. Breathe in for a minute. Miracles happen…

By: bobbie

bobbie — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:25:50 +0000

or you could sing jingle bells during the prayer! ha!

i really liked what jack said about getting outside myself – that helps me a lot. sometimes i meet god in other people. kind of like god w/ skin on.

and to be called back to the â€God could and would IF HE WERE SOUGHTâ€ – thanks Jack, needed that BB reminder.

By: Chris

Chris — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:05:36 +0000

The “Jingle Bells” approach makes perfect sense to me!!! “Especially at meetings where we say the “Our Father” to close.” Sometimes I say the prayer because it is easy to do; other times I simply listen to it and think “Honor their prayer,” and say amen with them.

I hope I get to share Bobbie’s experience; that “every time i endure â€˜the dark night of the soul’ – those silent times god seems so far away – what comes back to me is far deeper and richer than i had ever experienced before.”

Thanks for the great suggestions everyone.

By: cj

cj — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:53:22 +0000

Praying to that creepy, sinister, vengeful and wrathful Abrahamic God of the Old Testament that I was raised on is problematic for me too. I take the Jingle Bells approach, especially in meetings where we say the “our Father” to close meetings: I have been singing Jingle Bells all my life, and have never once been in a sleigh, I don’ t know what half the words even mean (what is a bell on a bob tail, and how and/or why does it ring?), but I share in the spirit of the thing, if not the literal meaning of the words, so I go along.

There is an introduction to meditation in “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness” by Sharon Salzberg that totally made meditation work for me, and it is awesome because for me it counts as meditation and prayer, and it doesn’t have to take hours. In it, I essentially ask for myself and others to be free from danger, to have physical happiness, to have mental happiness, and to have ease of wellbeing. I don’t pray to a god, I just ask “May I be free from danger. May I have physical happiness. May I have mental happiness. May I have ease of wellbeing.” Then I do it (repeatedly) for others. Today I am going to do it for you.

I enjoy the freedom of not being asked to believe in anything other than life can be better for us all, which I do.

By: jack

jack — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:03:20 +0000

Gratitude lists nightly A thru Z…you yourself have said “gratitude and misery cannot coexist within yourself at the same time.” Spiritual Readings outside the program I highly recommend…like bobbie said. Go down to the library find the spiritual/religous section and see what Calls you. The capital C is a hint. Dont force it….let It come to You.

Help Others…anyone….anyone at all and that will get you closer, especially if your first thought afterward is on your HP…

Lastly…..”God could and would IF HE WERE SOUGHT”
Go looking

Love ya

By: James

James — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:40:03 +0000

…….or are you just trying to replace the initial rush of meth with “that great fire kind of experience” of reveling in some kind of god? Will you continue to conduct your whole life as one stumble for a rush to another stumble towards another rush of a different type?

I’ve never been through the 12 steps, so that’s all a mystery to me. I wonder, though, if there’s light and life after meth and then the 12 step zombie house that you haven’t found yet.

I’m glad you’re feeling better. Maybe you don’t need euphoria, though.