One beat at a time

My decision to go back to school was influenced partly by the fact that my cardiologist wanted to do a cardiac catheterization and angiography, a procedure I wouldn’t have been able to afford to do with my old health insurance with its $450/month price tag and its $5000 deductible.  Student health offered by my school is under $900 a semester and only carries a $250 deductible.  I scheduled the procedure for right after the end of the semester.  Every time I’ve been to the doctor he’s observed some other thing wrong which is why he wanted the cath, and of course the cath revealed something else entirely.

I had been preparing to become really angry with myself.  Chronic crystal methamphetamine abuse is implicated in a host of cardiac and pulmonary problems, and if I had somehow done serious damage to my heart through my drug abuse I wasn’t sure how I’d forgive myself.  Luckily it doesn’t appear that I need to be concerned about that.  We did the procedure last Tuesday.  That test revealed a brand new problem, so we put a Holter monitor on the next day and I suspect I’ll get the results of that by Wednesday of next week.

I’m super relieved that none of the problem I have are the kind of problems that appear to be caused by methamphetamine abuse.  If the diagnosis doesn’t change between now and Wednesday it looks like I’ll get a pacemaker, hopefully before the next semester begins.  I know that all sounds kind of scary.  At least it sounds scary to me, but there is an up-side to this.  I don’t appear to have created this problem myself, so I have no impulse to beat myself up over it.  It is probably congenital; that is, I was probably born with it and it has progressed to a stage where I am experiencing symptoms.  Today’s pacemakers are very smart little machines, they’re easy to install, and when they are installed properly they can significantly improve the quality and length of life for patients like me.

I’m thinking that deciding to go back to school may be among the best decisions I ever made, second only to getting sober.

With the help of the staff of drug addiction centers, many former drug addicts have successfully dropped their dangerous habit.