How to Share in a Meeting
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The Last Chance Texaco by Chris M. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
I have only recently started going to meetings in NA (since January this year) and I have been very infrequent even in this time. Whenever I have got a chance to share in meetings, I have mostly rambled useless garbage, this does not lift any weight of off my own heart or even identifies with anyone else who is listening to my sharing. Thanx for these guidelines. I will try this and see how it goes …
Fantastic summary. Clearyly stated and right on the mark. I have shared this with all my sponsees. Thanks for taking the time to put this together.
remember there is a “before” the meeting and an “after” the meeting for sharing one on one, with a sponsor or a couple of AA’s those things that might not be good for the whole meeting– if you are not sure whether something should be shared, ask you sponsor
That’s a really important point, dave o. Learning to discern what is right to share in meetings and what is right to share with our sponsor or those closest to us in the program doesn’t happen immediately. If I’m not sure, I always talk to my sponsor first.
I was impressed by your article took afew copies and circulated it our group
Thanks a nice one
I might just print this for my sponsee’s.
Next subject could be “How to chair a meeting”.
THAT is a FANTASTIC idea. I nominate you to write it! LOL
I’m glad I found my way to this subject (and article) after a meeting tonite fraught with examples to the contrary. Someone even reacted to a 90 day “recovered” alcoholics personal homily with a “shut the f— up!” It was a mens loosely organized meeting which is often pretty raucus, yet serious.
I plan to pass this out at the next Group Conscience meeting.
Thanks Jimmy. Sorry to hear about your meeting experience. I hope that you at least found something in that meeting motivated you to grow. Even the worst meetings can do that. It’s much easier though to just kind of check out, or worse, to sit in a meeting judging the people around you. The worst I’ve felt since I got sober was when I found myself in meetings often judging others, thinking how much nicer it would be to just spend the hour stabbing myself in the eye than listen to one more person who had never taken the steps tell me about how to take the steps. (I unfortunately actually HAVE pulled someone aside after a meeting and told them to “shut the F up.” I have grown a lot since then.)
I actually grew from that experience in part because I realized that they just weren’t having the same experience as me, and just because I could see the peak from my side of the mountain didn’t prove that they couldn’t see the peak from theirs. Sometimes now, if I’m finding myself in a meeting judging people again, I sit quietly and pray for each of the people in the room, individually, one by one, till my mind is quiet enough to listen for the solution or the opportunity to share my experience with it.
Thanks for your comment.
Excellent suggestions and a much needed and seldom addressed topic.
Two points:
No one is ever required to participate in the 7th tradition. As someone who showed up at AA eight years ago without a penny to my name, I am forever grateful that people explained to me that AA is free. I cringe when I hear people say “and a meeting is only a dollar.”
There are no “principles behind the steps”. (Those one word nemonics like Hope, Honesty, Justice etc) These seem to have taken on a life of their own. They simply don’t exist and whenever someone quotes them like they were fact they give them credence. Remember if its not anywhere in the literature it is not part of the AA program…
Larry, the principles behind the steps appear clearly stated in the NA literature: NA Step Working Guides. For each step, they are listed under the heading: Spiritual Principles.
I recommend big book studies, they have played and are playing a vital role in my growing in understanding and effectiveness. I remember going to meetings and hearing 1 or 2 people share and I’d say to myself “that person is saying exactly what I’m thinking.” And I’d naturally be attracted to them but my ego would tell me to stay away from them because they know! They seemed to have what I wanted and but I didn’t know it at the time turns out they did have what I wanted! A spiritual awakening!!! And the book is what holds the directions to that! We beg of you to lay aside prejudice!! God set aside everything we THINK we know so we can have new and open minded experience, the illness centers in the mind, alcohol is not the problem, sobriety was my problem I hated how I felt sober and the only thing that “fixed” it was alcohol. I’ve found only 2 remedies for alcoholism the STEPS or ALCOHOL… God is everything or else He is nothing, what was our choice to be?
Good point, Ben. I actually require anyone I sponsor to make a commitment to one of 2 book study meetings around here that I think are particularly good. I’ve seen people fail the program for any number of “reasons” but I’ve never seen the program, the steps, fail anyone.
i’ve just found your blog and i’m reading through your posts. i’m in the early days of being sober and i have a really good local AA meeting but i have found myself sharing in a completely disorganised and rambling way which leaves me feeling i have taken up a lot of time saying stuff that is not very helpful to anyone. i forget to thank the chair for their share and then thank them half way through and generally get in a mess. your guidelines are really helpful to me and i will put them into practice next time i share. thank you!
Blue: Don’t beat yourself up about that. We all do that early on. Heck, many of us do it later on. I have ideals galore, but I can’t always live up to them. The point is that I’m willing to grow. I didn’t include the most important guideline however; you can share anything you need to as long as you’re honest and you have a desire to stop drinking.