And Boise does look like a very cool town. I want to visit, now that I live in the West. Always have been fascinated with Boise, and I am not sure why. Closest I have been was Pocatello, and it was NOT all that. But I hear Boise is diff.

The only other movie I’ve seen recently that a character reminded me so much of mom was “There Will be Blood”. If you take my mom and turn her into a man and put her in the early days of the oil industry -that’s what you get. “I drink your milkshake!” LMAO

Thank you Marc and Steve. I’m at the place of pity for her, Steve. I’m just not completely free of anger, yet. Happy Birthday, handsome.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1030028/Fatal-Seduction-How-society-millionairess-seduced-son-cure-gay–paid-life.html

Fatal Seduction: How a society millionairess seduced her own son to ‘cure’ him of being gay… and paid with her life

http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/savage_grace/
(Watch on firefox)

Hvaent seen it but judging by the article i read it looks good..
personally I love stuff about messed up families, but thats just me.. (!)
..have a nice weekend!

Glad you realize this about you and your mother. I’m sure, though it is difficult, it will help.

Moral insanity… that’s a very descriptive term.

looking back at my grandmother, her mother, i see so much of the same and it makes me so afraid sometimes. for myself, and for my kids. i know that i work the program for myself, but i am constantly reminded by their smiles that i am also investing in the future.

not having good models has been difficult, but negative learning can also teach me many things and i have tried to surround myself with healthy families that re-parent me in some places of my life so that i can pass that on to my kids. i still regularly grieve what has been lost though.

ps - i just saw the teeny tiny smiley face at the bottom of your blog and it made my day!

glad you have rebuilt the machine, glad you are feeling better, and mainly, am glad you did not give up. thank God.

After reading your post and thinking about that I am left pondering the value of perseverance. Does it take me too far out of the moment or enable me to find it?

Though I knew not that you were sick i am glad to hear you are better. How’s that kitty?

WS

(tremendously.)

The first three of the twelve steps are:
1. We admitted we were powerless over (insert any one of over 500 “spiritual diseases”) and our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
These first steps serve the purpose of breaking down the new recruit’s autonomy.

In the first step, the “pigeon” or “baby” must admit that he has no resources within himself to change his own behavior and, although rarely stated directly, that he can’t make his own decisions in life.

Someone else must do that for him.
In the second step, he generally must first confess insanity; that he can not trust his own thoughts. He now must choose a “higher power.”

While much pretense is given to a freedom of choice on what one chooses for a higher power, the main point is that the indoctrinee looks to the group elders and doctrine, rather than his own conscience and religious beliefs, for a definition of that God. Although he can’t trust his own thoughts, he can trust the elders and doctrine.

For example, if someone, as the A.A. story goes, should choose a doorknob as his higher power, he will be constantly confronted on how to relate to it. In the third step, he must turn his will and life over to the doorknob, and in later steps pray to it in a specific fashion.

Whatever his prior religious beliefs, piece by piece, he will be pressured to accept A.A. doctrinal beliefs about God.
Much of the language of the steps was carefully chosen to avoid “confusing” potential recruits. They might reject “the program” as a religious sect.

The word “sin” was changed to “defects of character,” “confess” to “admit,” “wretched sinner” to “powerless,” “God” to “higher power,” “confession” to “fifth step sharing,” “bearing witness” to twelfth step sharing” and “conversion” or “recruitment” to “carrying the message.”

Early A.A. members knew that if they were seen as just another religious sect they would have to follow the rules other religious groups happily abide by in this country. They changed their language and changed the sacred text from the Bible to “The Big Book.”

They changed their self-description from their pro-Nazi forerunner group’s “more spiritual than religious” to “spiritual not religious.” This enabled a religious mind-control cult to better deceive not only potential recruits, but to great success in infiltrating all our national institutions.

I,PATRICK, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.

NOTE: Sadly, many Christians still defend this methodology and don’t seem to understand that it conflicts with the scriptures. Once again, having a form of godliness but denying its power.

By John Lanagan
Posted: 05/20/2008

It is a fearful thing, leaving AA. The Big Book (the AA “bible”) states, “We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.”[1] Because this passage of AA “scripture” is taken literally, alcoholics rarely look elsewhere for help. Christians continue to jam their God, the Ancient of Days, into AA’s chameleon theology.

“Do not participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead even expose them.” (Ephesians 5:11-12)

It is not just fear that keeps us bound to this all-gods religion. The 12 Step experience becomes an idol—long-term involvement almost always results in a transference of faith. Bluntly stated, when it comes to sobriety, many Christians end up with more faith in the power of the 12 Step program than in Jesus Christ.

This idol worship is by no means limited to those in AA, but applies to many in “Christian 12 Step” groups.

This transference of faith is subtle, gradual, and frequently inevitable. The result is that sobriety without the 12 Step program will not even be considered. Biblical wisdom, given by concerned and caring believers, is rejected.

For many years Christians have justified their involvement by pointing to numerous books that claim AA and the 12 Steps are Christian in origin. If this is true, then obviously AA’s cofounders had to have been Christians. Indeed, this belief is also a primary rationalization for remaining in the AA religion.

Did AA cofounders Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith follow Christ? Many believe Dr. Bob to have been a student of the Word and dedicated to the Faith. To a great degree this assumption stems from the writing of Dick B., author of ‘Anne Smith’s Journal,’ and numerous other works.

Dr. Bob certainly did read the Bible. Yet, as Susan Cheever states, “Bob began every morning with meditation and prayer and twenty minutes of Bible study. Like Bill, Bob believed in paranormal possibility and the two men spent time ‘spooking,’ invoking spirits of the dead.”[2]

Early AA member Tom Powers saw the AA cofounders firsthand as they engaged in spiritualistic practices the Lord detests. (Deuteronomy 18:10-12) “Now, these people, Bill and Bob, believed vigorously and aggressively. They were working away at the spiritualism; it was not just a hobby.”[3]

It is not well known that Dr. Bob was a Mason. Suspended in 1934, he gained reinstatement after being sober for some years.[4] According to John Weldon, “The truth is that Masonry is a distinct religion that espouses teachings incompatible with Christian faith in the areas of God, salvation, and other important doctrines.”[5]

Interestingly, the description of the Mason god, the Great Architect, is similar to the higher power worshiped in Alcoholics Anonymous. Masonic researcher Carl H. Claudy notes, “Masonry does not specify any god or creed; she requires merely that you believe in some Deity, give him what name you will…. A belief in God is essential to a Mason but…any God will do…”[6]

Alcoholics Anonymous teaches the “higher power” could be a doorknob, a spirit, a fruit salad, the universe, the Dallas Cowboys (when they are winning), a new age version of Jesus, or anything else. Like the Masons, it doesn’t matter what god you believe in—only that you believe in something.

It seems that someone as allegedly devout and well versed in the Bible as Dr. Bob would stay far away from spiritualism and the Masonic organization. He most emphatically did not. Equally perplexing is Dr. Bob’s enthusiasm for Emmet Fox’s sweet-sounding but heretical book, ‘The Sermon on the Mount.’[7]

This is no minor point, since this book denies that Jesus Christ is Savior. The book was used as a teaching tool by Alcoholics Anonymous before the Big Book was written. In ‘The Sermon on the Mount,’ author Emmet Fox states there is no such thing as original sin; that the account of Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden is not intended as literal history; that Jesus never walked on the water. He writes, “The ‘Plan of Salvation’ which figured so prominently in the evangelical sermons of a past generation is as completely unknown to the Bible as it is to the Koran.”[8]

Fox instructs, “In the Bible the term ‘Christ’ is not identical with Jesus, the individual. It is a technical term that may be briefly defined as the Absolute Spiritual Truth about anything.”[9] Clearly Emmet Fox, dead for decades, would have made an ideal guest on one of Oprah Winfrey’s New Spirituality shows.

Fox was an eloquent adherent of the New Thought religion. This belief system teaches that our thoughts determine our reality, and that we too can learn to tap into the same divine power that Jesus the man harnessed.

As scholars Anderson and Whitehouse note, “New Thoughters are fond of such affirmations as… ‘The Christ in me salutes the Christ in you.’ Rather than viewing Jesus as the first and last member of the Christ family, many New Thoughters believe that Christ is a title that we can all earn by following Jesus’ example.”[10]

‘The Sermon on the Mount’ is based on Fox’s heretical interpretation of Scripture. So why would Bible-believing Christians have anything to do with such a book?

Would a Christian cofounder of AA really participate in using it as a teaching tool? Or place such heresy in the hands of another alcoholic? AA cofounder Dr. Bob Smith did just this.

In a recorded 1954 interview, early AA member Dorothy S.M. reminisced, “The first thing Bob did was get me Emmet Fox’s ‘Sermon on the Mount.’”[11] Dorothy then recalled how it went with the alcoholics who wanted help: “As soon as the men in the hospital, as soon as their eyes could focus, they got to ‘The Sermon on the Mount.’”[12]

Archie T., the founder of Detroit AA, stayed with Dr. Bob and Anne Smith for more than ten months. He became sober in September of 1938. Archie T. recollected, “In Akron I was turned over to Dr. Bob and his wife. …I spent Labor Day in the hospital reading Emmet Fox’s ‘Sermon on the Mount,’ and it changed my life.”[13]

Documenting the AA history of Archie T., Detroit Archivist Cliff M. verifies, “He says he got his AA direct from one of the founders. Archie read Emmet Fox’s ‘Sermon on the Mount,’ and he said it changed his life.”[14]

It is interesting that, after many months with the Smiths, having “got his AA direct from one of the founders,” Archie T. emerged not as a Bible believing Christian, but in agreement with Emmet Fox’s New Thought theology.

Was Dr. Bob a Bible believing Christian? The Bible says, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world.” (1 John 4:1-3)

Some have tried to explain early AA’s enthusiasm for various New Thought books simply because the people were, well, voracious readers. But Emmet Fox’s ‘The Sermon on the Mount’ was used to teach.

People who believe along New Thought lines often read genuinely Christian literature, as well as the Bible. They simply filter, or interpret, according to their New Thought understanding. Emmet Fox himself had no objection to his followers reading diverse spiritual books, or attending churches, or listening to speakers if it proved helpful. He warned, however, that loyalty should be to one’s own “Indwelling Christ.”[15]

This theological “filtering” may well be what Dr. Bob himself did as he read the Bible and Christian literature. Like Emmet Fox and others, Dr. Bob may simply have interpreted the Bible through a New Thought understanding, or variant thereof. Fox valued the Bible, calling it “an inexhaustible reservoir of Spiritual Truth.”[16] Dr. Bob valued it as well.

Such esoteric interpretation of the Bible—while denying the Salvation of Christ—is not confined to New Thought; it is practiced by Unity, and the Swedenborgians, each with their own anti-Biblical understanding of the Word of God.

Dr. Bob’s pursuit of spiritualism, Masonic membership, and promotion of Fox’s heretical book do not seem indicative of a deep, Bible-believing faith. Certainly he spoke highly of the Bible. But a New Thoughter who gives Jesus verbal accolades or discusses Scripture can sound quite similar to a born again Christian.

After reading the Emmet Fox book, I emailed the following question to Mel B., author of the well-researched ‘New Wine.’ Mel B. is an authority on Emmet Fox and a man who personally knew Bill Wilson:

Quote:
“Hey Mel, I’ve been reading Fox’s ‘The Sermon on the Mount’ and what he is saying (I think) was that Jesus is just a man who understood the principle laid out in the book and had power through them. He says “Christ” is not Jesus but a title (for Absolute Spiritual Truth.) So I am inclined to think that Dr. Bob, both when he referred to the Bible, and when he spoke of Jesus, saw things along the lines of what Fox taught. Do you think this is possible?”[17]

Mel emailed this reply:

Quote:
“Hi John, Yes, I think Dr. Bob thought that way about Jesus. Bill certainly did. In my view, this takes nothing away from Jesus and makes his teaching more relevant. Dr. Bob also emphasized The Sermon On The Mount, 1 Corinthians 13, and the Book of James as being particularly important to us.”[18]
Important as general spiritual principles, perhaps, but not as words from the God of the Bible.

Author Glen C. notes that Dr. Bob’s AA homegroup (roughly between 1939-1940) emphasized the following passages in the Bible: ‘Sermon on the Mount’ (Matthew 5-7), the letter of James, 1 Corinthians 13, and Psalms 23 and 91. These “were especially useful for AA purposes because none of them required the newcomer to believe in the divinity of Christ or that Salvation could be found only by praying to Jesus.”[19] (Emphasis mine)

Some years ago Dick B., after convincing thousands that AA’s 12 Steps are Christian in origin, wrote, “You may, as I did for quite some time, fail to appreciate or study the effect on AA ‘theology’ of the ideas of William James, Ralph Waldo Trine, Emmet Fox, and others.”[20]

Having admitted Emmet Fox’s heretical influence, this author should not have written one more book about AA’s alleged Christian origin.

Dick B.’s latest book is ‘The Conversion of Bill W.,’ a sadly misleading title considering everything AA cofounder Bill Wilson was involved in. In experiments in the 1950s, hoping alcoholics could be helped by LSD, Bill Wilson stated, “It is a generally acknowledged fact in spiritual development that ego reduction makes the influx of God’s grace possible. If, therefore, under LSD we can have a temporary reduction, so we can better see where we are going—well, that might be of some help. The goal might become clearer.”[21]

Call me legalistic, but LSD to facilitate “the influx of God’s grace” doesn’t sound all that Biblical.

Wilson’s explanation for choosing the triangle within the circle as AA’s symbol is equally pagan. In ‘Alcoholics Anonymous Comes Of Age,’ he writes, “That we have chosen this symbol is perhaps no mere accident. The priests and seers of antiquity regarded the circle enclosing the triangle as a means of warding off spirits of evil, and AA’s circle of Recovery, Unity, and Service has certainly meant all that to us and much more.”[22]

He also “felt it would be unwise to have an allegiance to any one religious sect. He felt AA’s usefulness was worldwide, and contained spiritual principles that members of any and every religion could accept, including the Eastern religions.”[23]

Somewhere, somehow, we must examine the 12 Step program in light of Scripture. We must take Paul’s admonitions about a false gospel seriously. (Galatians 1:6-9) We are being offered a wonderful mission field, if only we can understand neither AA nor the 12 Steps are from Jesus Christ.

It is also time we stop accepting that one or both AA cofounders were Christians. Clearly, they were not.

Endnotes:

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, pg. 58

2. Susan Cheever, My Name Is Bill, pg. 197

3. PASS IT ON, A.A. World Services Inc., pg. 280

4. Cedric L. Smith, PGM, Grand Secretary of Masons in Vermont

5. John Weldon, The Masonic Lodge and the Christian Conscience, CRI DM 166, pg. 1

6. Carl H. Claudy, ‘Belief in God,’ in ‘A Master’s Wages’ in Little Masonic Library vol.4

7. DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, A.A. World Services Inc., pg. 310-311

8. Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount, pg. 5-6

9. Ibid., pg. 124

10. C. Alan Anderson and Deborah G. Whitehead, New Thought and Conventional Christianity http://www.gis.net/~caa/church.html

11. 1954 excerpts of conversation between Bill W. and Dorothy S.M. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/…_spring_06.pdf

12. Ibid.

13. http://www.Akronaaarchives.org/archieT.htm

14. AA General Services of Southeast Michigan-Area 33, A Brief History of A.A. in Detroit-by Cliff M. (Past Archivist)

15. Emmet Fox, ‘The Sermon on the Mount,’ pg. 149

16. Ibid., pg. 12

17. email to Mel B. 3/14/08

18. email from Mel B.

19. Glen C., justloveaudio.com/resources/assorted/Akron-Recommended_Reading _List_1939_Or_1940

20. The Oxford Group and Alcoholics Anonymous: Part 2, DickB.com

21. PASS IT ON, AA World Services Inc., pg. 370

22. Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, A.A. World Services Inc., pg. 139

23. PASS IT ON, A.A. World Services Inc., pg. 283

Distributed by http://www.ChristianWorldviewNetwork.com
__________________
Many will and are doing this…

2 Corinthians 11:4-5: 4 For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted — you may well put up with it!

Answer: Have no fellowship with darkness.

I, PATRICK, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.

· A Dozen Steps (Brainwashed Zombie)

· Attitude of Gratitude (Emotional Coward)

· Coffee Bitch (Shape Shifting Reptile)

· I’m Just F.I.N.E. (Psychopath)

· Sobriety is Exhausting (The Yellow Troll From Texas)

· ZaneJabbers (The Evil One)

· One Sober Alcoholic (Bill Wilson Clone)
· Recovery Archive (An Irish Friend of Satan)

ACTS 26:18 to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’

I, PATRICK, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE

No one is perfect… we experience that first hand right? The fact that you caught yourself before hitting the ground shows that you have put in some really great work and have gotten a lot out of your recovery. After all, it’s not so much how we handle the good, but more of how we handle the bad right?

Not the same story today. God’s hands embrace and support me. I don’t have to be judgemental. A very different relationship with my higher power as I understand her (or him, or sexless, who knows) to be.

So, bobbie was right, I was covering up so much of myself as a fundy. A deep dark lie under a shiny coat. Even I couldn’t see the lie.

Thanks for letting me share.

And good for you, bobbie! I don’t believe that you didn’t have a relationship with the Creator before. In fact I’m sure you did. This is absolutely a different level of drawing close to Him, though, isn’t it. But I’ll wholeheartedly agree that a certain kind of vociferous fundie fecomes that way because they aren’t experiencing that connection. Mega-churches, like AA, are hotbeds of mental illness. In my observation, only about 10% of the people either place, or anywhere for that matter, are actually seeking. The rest are there for any number of other reasons. I’m really happy you were able to set aside enough of what you might have thought you know in order tohave a new experience.

i was wondering about your fundy ladies at your group and remembered myself back in my fundy days - and realized that most of my fundy talk was shit to cover my shame. i bet if you peeled away some of that talk you’d find out that those ladies were scared shitless to be found out to be frauds - just like i always was.

under the surface i think you’d find that they are covering up some pretty big secret addictions and very little of a true spiritual life - mine was so shallow when i was all talk and no steps.

just my 2 cents on this, i might be wrong, but it’s just a hunch.

so glad to hear the fog is lifting!

thanks though. i appreciate the encouragement and the ‘glass half-full’ perspective.

love you.

the book does specifically call for service work in times just like this. the concern for the echoes in our heads goes away when we are focused on the service to another.

and what if this “not feeling it” thing is actually serenity? or a part of it? what if there is no drama and we need to make some up?

I really appreciate your input though. And I wholly agree that “God is in the journey”, or the path.

There is actually much more to what is going on than I’ve shared here, some of which I only put together tonight and which I’ll undoubtedly unload on you poor souls, but the self bashing is driven out of something actually being wrong and my not “do[ing] what we do”.

Thanks to all of you for your support.

The spiritual “waking up” I’ve experienced the past few months has driven home exactly this point. The main realization I have had goes something like this:

“If you in the very slightest have required the world to possess the virtue you seek before you feel compelled to possess it as well, then you never will possess it.”

Which is another way of saying that there is no substitute for doing the hard work regardless of whether a single other person in the universe is doing it as well.

Glad you are doing ok. I worry when I don’t see almost-daily posts from you — you are top of my blog reading list! (No pressure there, lol…)

hope you have a smile in your heart..

you are a hottie from hottingham, regardless of your hairline.

love you.

pea

The cat is insanely happy. She got a new toy today that she seems to really, REALLY love. And she seems to have tired herself out with it because she just climbed up on my lap and is going to sleep. I think this round of depression would have been much worse without her.

The SSRI are working and now I’m just struggling to overcome how sleepy it makes me. I understand that passes.

Thank you both for your support.

I am so excited about your cat. Perhaps she has been sent to lead you out of this state of inertia. Regardless, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. I know you know this. I am just reinforcing that knowing.

Heather