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I bought a book the other day, right after I vomited my insanity here; Mindfulness in Plain English. And I’m encouraged because I finally found a definition of ‘faith’ that I can work with. No GrandWizardMagicalSantaClaus required. What a relief. I have some nice, plainly written instructions to make a beginning, and then there are [...]
A.
Atheist.
Two and a half years sober and I find myself so fucked off about the conception of god that I got sober with that I can’t live joyfully. In all likelihood I just haven’t given myself enough time to heal or something but at the moment it seems like the “power” that got me [...]
“You’re out there walking down the highway and all of the signs have been blown away. Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction.” -Patty Griffin
Someone else’s experience and writing are much better than my own this morning so I’m sharing an email.
“did you ever see “planes, trains & automobiles?” the scene where [...]
But until it does I cry myself to sleep every night. (This too shall pass.) In the daytime and around people I pretend everything is okay – that I’m getting better; and I suppose I am, but I did not expect to be this sick for this long. I did not [...]
I’ve been having this internal argument about smoking cessation with nicotine replacement therapy. Namely, in quitting smoking I’m really quitting 2 different addictions; smoking addiction and nicotine addiction. I have picked up a cigarette only twice in the last 16 days, and that has been made rather easy by the fact that my nicotine addiction [...]
I don’t want to ride this roller coaster. Think I want to get off, but they buckled me down like it’s the end of the world.” Matt Alber, “End of the World”
This is the end of day 8. I made it through what the smoking cessation people call “Hell Week” and I’m much relieved.
Joe is [...]
Joe hasn’t been home in 3 days now, but he’s been seen and he’s terrible. He’s every horrible thing you can imagine about someone who has relapsed on heroin (or other heavy narcotics). His phone is dead so he can’t call anyone. Jake gave him my number but he refuses to call because he’s still [...]
Great expectations can have the nasty ability to lead to great dissappointment.
I should have listened to my gut in the first place. The second time he called while he’d been drinking; I should have pulled the plug then. I should not have allowed this to continue when part of me was screaming out, “Hey! Hold [...]
Right after the Manhunt experiment, I tried another experiment that I didn’t talk about. The OGL experiment. On facebook I’m bombarded by advertising for dating sites and one of them intrigued me, largely because the name of the site was so toned down. That, and the fact that they had a one month, non-recurring trial [...]
The Last Chance Texaco salutes . . .
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