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I arrived home Saturday night, slept most of the day on Sunday and I’m still tired. Overall I had a wonderful time though. There was a little tension with one of my travel companions who I found to be astonishingly self-centered, but I’m sure I played a part in that. Managed, in the end, to [...]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the value of anonymity. I’m not altogether convinced that there really is such a thing; not in the absolute sense. It exists in greater and lesser degrees and we see famous people straddle the line all the time. In 12 step recovery we have secret code words and [...]
“Absolute unmixed attention is prayer.” -Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace
I realized a long time ago that I can trace the decline of my spiritual health, and a decline in the quality and quantity of my writing, to the date I got a television. For a good year and a half, writing was a form of [...]
“Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”
-Alcoholics Anonymous, page 58
Some of us have tried to hold on to them without even knowing that is what we’re doing, until it bites us.
I was thinking about my conversation with Chris Lawford a [...]
When I was 12 I lived around the corner from Kris. He was the most naturally athletic kid I’ve ever met. He was fantastic looking. He had 3 older brothers and they all had ‘toys’ – motorized toys. Dirt bikes and snowmobiles and ATVs. He was fearless and he was cool and I was intensely [...]
It is so strange, and so strange that it is comforting to be again in the company of my family and among people who share my religious heritage. The Church (of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – the Mormons) take a very dim view of homosexuality and of drug addiction. Now that [...]
It’s been almost 2 years since we were all together. Grandma’s funeral doesn’t count, but 2 years ago my entire clan got together for a reunion (you can read about here) and we’ll be together again in a couple of days. For the first time in decades I’ll actually get to SEE my father on [...]
Since even before I got sick I felt like I was suffering from a poor connection with HP. Looking back, it appears that I’ve been running on self will for some time, but I’ve been sober so something must be going OK. I think. Anyway, illness has left “that which is lacking” in in even [...]
I find it hard to adequately describe what 12 step recovery means to me. My vocabulary lacks words for the sense of belonging that I feel inside the steps, inside the fellowship, in communion with my Creator, and in the company of others who have traveled a similar path. By tradition, we who adhere to [...]
After taking a coin for my 2nd year sober (today) in a meeting tonight I was surprised to hear descriptions of me as I was during the first part of my recovery. My first sponsor’s wife said that she had been scared of me. “Don’t let that freak in my house,” she had told him. [...]
The Last Chance Texaco salutes . . .
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