There are parts of my experience at the end of my use and in the early part of my recovery that I have been hard pressed to imagine would ever be an asset; something I could share to help another addict recover, chief among them my relationship with Dan, the Imaginary Future Ex-Husband (IFX). Dan’s skill at using my lonliness at the end of my using days, his disappearance on my birthday, and most particularly his extrarodinary meanness when he got out of prison and started showing up in 12 step meetings places him at the center of some of the most painful moments of my life. Read the rest of this entry »
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I didn’t have to work yesterday and I got up pretty early with the intention of getting a bunch of chores done. By 10 o’clock I realized that unless I got up and left the house for awhile that nothing was going to get done, There is a Sunday morning meeting here that is very popular and that, being like I am, I haven’t attended in many months, so I thought maybe I’d go. I got on my scooter at a quarter to 11 and headed over to the Sunday Spiritual Meeting, only to find that it started at 10. Read the rest of this entry »
I was going to pay my rent early, because I could, sort of. I have the money, but not the cash. And I intended to get up early this morning and go to the bank before I went to work today, but that didn’t happen either.
Yesterday was an incredibly long day. Now that I’m back on Planet Look Something Shiny (ADHD and unmedicated) I lose everything I put down. It’s incredibly frustrating just getting through the day right now. Read the rest of this entry »
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