Hope
You are currently browsing the archive for the Hope category.
Finally. The days are getting longer. I start getting sad in September when the color of the light changes. More than any other month, bad things have happened to me in December. Apprehension and all the demands for merriness combine to make me feel guilty, as well as sad. If there ever was a time [...]
I don’t know how I’ve never happened on this verse before. I’m not a huge Millay fan. That probably has something to do with it. I heard a recording of her reading her own work one time and I couldn’t stand her voice. Plus I thought the poem was stupid. But this one, Fig Two, [...]
Well, we’ve made it through the first week. It hasn’t been without problems. There have been kinks to work out. But over all? I’d say we’re doing fine.
The only way to actually have time to do homework assigned on Monday or Tuesday is to telecommute on Wednesdays. That way I’m prepared for class on Wednesday [...]
Tags: car shopping, low end new car
I was reading this post over at myOutSpirit.com about an article in the September issue of Out Magazine which considers how online cruising has changed gay urban social life by, for example, driving human interactions from physical spaces to virtual ones and encouraging the “pornification” of gay self-expression. The Out article is appropriately titled, “Has [...]
Tags: online cruising, Out Magazine, the anniversary of my last intimate contact, The Out
The first day I was on Ritilin I took it as prescribed.
Yuck. Did the trick in terms of attention and focus, sense of well being, etc., but it had the unfortunate and uncomfortable side effect of making me feel like I’d been high. The good news is that it was an intensely uncomfortable feeling. I [...]
Tags: ADD, Addiction, ADHD, Boise, Department of Corrections, free, gay men, Greenland, happy, Hope, joyous, methamphetamine, relationships, Ritalin, romance, sobriety, West Hollywood
I was going to pay my rent early, because I could, sort of. I have the money, but not the cash. And I intended to get up early this morning and go to the bank before I went to work today, but that didn’t happen either.
Yesterday was an incredibly long day. Now that I’m back [...]
Tags: ADHD, bank, coma, futility, Hopelessness, newcomer, Office Depot, USD, work
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The light is not an illusion.
The tunnel is.
-unknown
I noticed this sign above the door of a meeting I occasionally go to and it just struck me. It seemed profound enough, but it wasn’t till I woke up this morning and read Sweet Pea’s post where [...]
Tags: 11th Step, 3rd Step, 7th Step, AA, Addiction, Death, Easter, energy, Faith, God, Grace, Humility, Parker Stevenson, Recovery, Resurrection, sacrifice, Self, Spirituality, Unity
Every day I take a bitter pill that gets me on my way,
for the little aches and pains the ones I have from day to day.
To help me think a little less about the things I miss.
To help me not to wonder how I ended up like this.
Useless Desires
Patty Griffin
Corinne says I’m “thawing out.” Nikki [...]
Tags: aches, gardenias, Grief, growth, Hope, pain, Patty Griffin, Paul Monette, relationships, root, Spirituality
It has been a long time since I could stand to have my picture taken. I’m feeling better, and more importantly (at least according to Billy Crystal) looking better. Well, they say it pays to advertise and since I’m already advertising exactly what kind of baggage this package contains I thought I might [...]
Tags: Betty Ford Center, Billy Crystal, Christina, Lindsay Lohan
I’ll be gone for awhile. I’m checking in to a rehab and I expect I’ll be gone for at least a month. I just need to do something about this problem before someone does something about it for me.
I’m not happy. I’m not content. I don’t want to go on living like this. And while [...]
Tags: Addiction, Crystal Meth, Detox, Idaho, methamphetamine, Pocatello, Recovery, sober
Back Seat Drivers