Honesty
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My sobriety anniversary is very important to me and it’s coming up here soon, but it doesn’t quite move me the same way December 13th does. December 13th, today, happens also to be my birthday, but my God, I’m 44 years old. My “birthday” is not really a big deal anymore. No, the anniversary I [...]
When I chose my current sponsor one of the things that attracted me was that even with 36-odd years sober, he was still able to share the truth at meeting level, particularly when things are difficult for him. You’ll hear him at a meeting sharing some tale of woe and how he has faith that [...]
There are natural limits on what I can compute on greed and will power alone, as I have said before, but greed and will power are my constant companions in the marketplace. I may be able to set them aside to some degree with respect to my disease and, to a lesser extent, with other [...]
A.
Atheist.
Two and a half years sober and I find myself so fucked off about the conception of god that I got sober with that I can’t live joyfully. In all likelihood I just haven’t given myself enough time to heal or something but at the moment it seems like the “power” that got me [...]
I’ve written a ton of inventory on the current situation at home and had a nice long visit with my sponsor and gotten some clarity about the situation in my house, identified the causes and conditions within me that create my unhappiness, and gotten a sense of peace about it.
First of all, it’s clear that [...]
It’s the first day of recovery, again, for my first sponsee, Joe, who had the courage this morning, to admit that he relapsed. Perhaps it wasn’t courage really so much as the absense of an adequate denial. And perhaps it’s not the first day of a new recovery. Okay. Let me just be honest. He’s [...]
Facebook. Yep. Facebook. I now count Facebook among my addictions. When I’m at work, I’m at work, and when I’m at school, I’m at school, but the moments in between I’m checking Facebook every 15 minutes. It makes me feel connected. Crazy, I know. Whatever.
Here, at least for the first year or so, I enjoyed [...]
After taking a coin for my 2nd year sober (today) in a meeting tonight I was surprised to hear descriptions of me as I was during the first part of my recovery. My first sponsor’s wife said that she had been scared of me. “Don’t let that freak in my house,” she had told him. [...]
Maybe the whole holiday ordeal was harder on me than I thought. It looks like I’ve been on autopilot for awhile and it has kind of kicked my ass. Now I’m doing the whole Oprah “I’m mad at myself” Winfrey thing, and while I’m writing this partially as a form of quick confession, I’m also [...]
I am a product of Western Civilization. I occasionally joke that I am in recovery from Western Civilization. I am still occasionally sarcastic. But I am a product of my dominant culture and as much as I pretend to resist it that means that I am the product of a Judeo-Christian tradition.
I am also a [...]
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