Faith
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My sobriety anniversary is very important to me and it’s coming up here soon, but it doesn’t quite move me the same way December 13th does. December 13th, today, happens also to be my birthday, but my God, I’m 44 years old. My “birthday” is not really a big deal anymore. No, the anniversary I [...]
“Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”
-Alcoholics Anonymous, page 58
Some of us have tried to hold on to them without even knowing that is what we’re doing, until it bites us.
I was thinking about my conversation with Chris Lawford a [...]
“We don’t want anybody up here. We just tell people this place is nothing but a bunch of queers and weirdos,” my sponsor told me. There is a kernel of truth in it, of course, but there is a sweetness about the place and the people there that is hard to describe.
I exaggerated about [...]
I bought a book the other day, right after I vomited my insanity here; Mindfulness in Plain English. And I’m encouraged because I finally found a definition of ‘faith’ that I can work with. No GrandWizardMagicalSantaClaus required. What a relief. I have some nice, plainly written instructions to make a beginning, and then there are [...]
When I was 12 I lived around the corner from Kris. He was the most naturally athletic kid I’ve ever met. He was fantastic looking. He had 3 older brothers and they all had ‘toys’ – motorized toys. Dirt bikes and snowmobiles and ATVs. He was fearless and he was cool and I was intensely [...]
What then, brethren, shall we say of God? For if thou hast been able to understand what thou wouldest say, it is not God. If thou hast been able to comprehend it, thou hast comprehended something else instead of God. If thou hast been able to comprehend him as thou thinkest, by so thinking thou [...]
A.
Atheist.
Two and a half years sober and I find myself so fucked off about the conception of god that I got sober with that I can’t live joyfully. In all likelihood I just haven’t given myself enough time to heal or something but at the moment it seems like the “power” that got me [...]
It is so strange, and so strange that it is comforting to be again in the company of my family and among people who share my religious heritage. The Church (of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – the Mormons) take a very dim view of homosexuality and of drug addiction. Now that [...]
Joe has been gone from the house for over 24 hours now, and has presumably accelerated his relapse into full on heroin use. I have not only been in close contact with my own sponsor about the situation and my actions in it, but I also got to go and hear him tell his story [...]
It’s the first day of recovery, again, for my first sponsee, Joe, who had the courage this morning, to admit that he relapsed. Perhaps it wasn’t courage really so much as the absense of an adequate denial. And perhaps it’s not the first day of a new recovery. Okay. Let me just be honest. He’s [...]
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