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For the last month or so I have been in the grips of the insane idea that I have outgrown AA. I say it is an insane idea because 12 step recovery is the only thing that ever got me sober for any length of time. And even though the idea is insane, it may [...]
It is so strange, and so strange that it is comforting to be again in the company of my family and among people who share my religious heritage. The Church (of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – the Mormons) take a very dim view of homosexuality and of drug addiction. Now that [...]
I’m healing – slowly . . . .
I actually went to work today and stayed for almost 4 hours before the edges of my incisions lit on fire and I had to get home and lie down to take the pressure off them. Even though the big incision is on my back most of the [...]
Gracie was just a year old.
She hasn’t been feeling well the last few days. Her breath has been labored. She hasn’t been able to eat or drink. Yesterday she seemed a little better than she did the day before, but this morning she was back to terrible so I took her to the vet.
After the [...]
Well this is my 5th day without smoking cigarettes and it is getting a little easier to navigate. The cravings that do appear seem to come out of nowhere, but are related to events; finishing a meal, walking out of a meeting, getting out of bed – that sort of thing. The only place that [...]
I don’t know that I’ve ever been so sick and not been hospitalized. Without health insurance and without any savings I elected to just ride it out, which, in retrospect, was probably a bad idea. I haven’t had solid food since Monday, but I am finally keeping fluids down and the exhausting cycle of fevers [...]
When I don’t post for awhile it usually means I’m hurting, and not growing. When I’m hurting and writing I’m finally in the process of growing. I haven’t posted in awhile and I’ve been hurting for awhile and I’ve been incredibly blocked about getting to the answer. Even when I got to the answer I [...]
Facebook. Yep. Facebook. I now count Facebook among my addictions. When I’m at work, I’m at work, and when I’m at school, I’m at school, but the moments in between I’m checking Facebook every 15 minutes. It makes me feel connected. Crazy, I know. Whatever.
Here, at least for the first year or so, I enjoyed [...]
In all honesty the 2 most possible of the three types of relationships that I might have with Dennis are the sponsor/sponsee and roommate/roommate relationships. I’m not so caught up in fantasy as to not realize that once he’s gotten through the steps he’s going to be a different person than he is now. I’ll [...]
Final answer.
And that’s all I need. While I may (or may not) entertain the suggestions of friends, I do what my sponsor suggests without rebuttal. I’ll question him to learn how to think and hear about his own experience, but I do what he suggests. Period.
And he says, “No.”
Oddly, he’s softer on the dating question.
I [...]
The Last Chance Texaco salutes . . .
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