5 Years Sober

I’ve been sober five years today and I’ve been writing and erasing this post for 2 hours now.  I can’t seem to be able to communicate this without sounding pathetic, so maybe I should just say it in the most concise way possible.

Recovery has made nearly everything in my life better, except for one thing.  I am still profoundly lonely.  And I think I may need to move if that is ever going to be different.

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  1. blessings be chris…

    i remember our very first communication over 5 years ago. you have helped me immensely and been there for me all these years. you know what they say…”after 5 years you hear a POP which is the sound of your head coming out of your ass” .. Enjoy it!

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  2. Happy Birthday Chris!! I still have your post about how to share in meetings -it’s a keeper.

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  3. fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us…. i don’t know if your interactions are affected by fear like mine, but i have found in this past year that i have been insulating myself from people because the fear of them leaving or hurting me is so profound… this has been the promise that held true socially for me for a season, but then great hurt came, and so i had lived in fear this past year. economically this is beginning to come true for me, like i have never imagined. it’s not windfall money, just more intuition. so i am hopeful that the social part of things will hold true too. i am so sorry about the loneliness, but am so proud of you for recreating your world as you work your program. living without drugs and alcohol as buffers socially is so raw, and most people just can’t imagine it, worse, it terrifies them. i pray that tall, dark socialist is going to make himself known this year my friend, happy re-birthday!

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  4. Hey Chris!
    Happy Birthday… love you man. Things will come about soon.

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  5. Happy birthday, Chris. Glad that you are sober. Hope that you meet someone special soon.

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  6. i love you so much

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  7. happy birthday my friend:) xoxo

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  8. Dear Chris,
    I am quickly approaching that 5 year mark myself. I googled “5 years sober” And your post appeared. I too have felt lonely but it always goes away sooner than later.
    Although you may feel lonely, please know that you are not alone.
    Be well.
    Danny

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    1. Thank you, Danny.

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    2. I have remained clean now for six months. How did you feel six months in looking back? Will it become easier over time, to focus on other things? Do I really need a sponsor?

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      1. Well, first of all, congratulations. Six months is a big mark. For me, six months was really just the very front edge of feeling much better. It took me over a year to really feel free again. I worked intensely with a sponsor for the first couple of years and I found it incredibly helpful. I still regularly attend meetings. I still hold service positions at meetings. I stay “plugged in” with my peers in recovery. And yes, over time it will become easier. Program stuff will just become second nature. It will operate in the background, and your life will quickly start filling up with all the other things; school or career, family and friends, relationships.

        One day you’ll realize that you just don’t have any desire to return to the old way of living, and hopefully you’ll be able to recognize the things you’ve done that made that possible and be able to continue to draw on them. Your recovery won’t be tight and restricting. Wear it “like a loose garment.” Don’t get too tied in knots about doing it right. You’ll just be free.

        And whatever effort you have to put in to making that happen will, I guarantee, be worth it.

        Good luck, Scott.

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but what do you think?

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