and yet so stupid in others. I sometimes wonder if it isn’t actually a function of intelligence to be able to block out information when we choose to; if you don’t actually have to be really smart to have a really effective denial mechanism. A certain amount of mental power must be involved in forcing oneself to not recognize the truth when it is staring you in the face. Holding on to our belief in people and places as we’d like them to be when the truth is punching us in the face really cannot be be done, I don’t think, by those with an inferior intellect.
Which brings up the perennial question of cannot vs. will not. It’s so much easier to have compassion for a cannot. But a will not, especially a smart will not, just makes me furious. I must have made quite a few others feel the same back in the bad old days, and THAT should make me feel some compassion, but it is a small relief.
And that leads me to take a look at the saying, “Wherever anyone, anywhere reaches out for help I want the hand of recovery to be there and for that I am responsible.” I don’t want to be responsible. Not for a will not. I have better things to do with my time than be a shoulder when the bag is gone. Let him find somebody else.
I’d call him a retard but he isn’t. He’s smart. And he has an incredibly sophisticated denial mechanism. And I hope something makes him break.
Tags: addict, CMA, denial, intelligence, Service, sponsees, sponsorship, Willingness
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The newly sober are first and foremost, newly sober. They may be very charming, attractive, extremely intelligent, but their relative proximity to their active addiction means all those traits are secondary to the dictates of the disease, which is feeling threatened, and will not go without a fight.
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