My friend Robert’s sponsor told him early on that he can say anything he wants to in a meeting, anything at all, so long as it’s honest.
I guess my pride is intact on some level or something because I don’t do that, at least not at meeting level. I share honestly, mind you. I just don’t share “anything”. I save the anything for you poor guys. I’m more comfortable spilling my “anything” here, where I know you show up because you want to, and not because you have to. I also know that with a wider audience I have a greater chance of reaching someone who gets it.
So here’s today’s “anything”; the kind that I cannot bring myself to share in a meeting around here-the kind they’d probably lynch me for here in the northwestern corner of Jesusland.
When Sarah Palin talks about “Joe Sixpack” I feel unamerican for not drinking beer. In spite of that fact that my personal politics are solidly democratic socialist in the Swedish tradition, I still want to be proud to be an American. I want to feel like I’m a part of our nation. I don’t, but I want to. And when a candidate for such high office uses terms like “Joe Sixpack” to describe the center of the electorate it makes me feel like an alien.
If I drank a sixpack a day I’d fit in better. I’d probably be more successful. A sixpack a day would turn me from a radical faggot political liability into a real American. And America is for real Americans. Not for those who would have the judicial branch actually interperate the law instead of bending it to the will of the masses like God intended. America isn’t for those who mistakenly believe that the office of vice-president is part of the executive branch and not the legislative branch. A sixpack a day might help me to see how important it is that our government needs to just step aside and let corporations do whatever they want, to not be accountable to anyone, to not pay taxes at all if at all possible. It might help me to see that the real role of government is to spy in the people and not tell them. A sixpack might help me feel like it’s good to get mad at the banks for selling me loans that I can’t afford, because they should be regulating themselves and taking care of me. My government needs to make sure they take away all regulations so that banks and mortgage companies, and just any ol’ corporation can regulate themselves. Government is just there to help out if they screw up and do anything that might cause some real problems.
A simple sixpack of Old Milwaukee would hlep me to see the truth and make me a part of our great nation. A sixpack of Budweiser would keep our economic engine humming. A sixpack of Buckhorn would make me a real man.
Being a real American would tast so good. It would feel so good. A sixpack is the sacrament that separates the true believers from the terrorists and the liberals who want to destroy marriage and kill babies.
I virtually never think about drinkiing. I don’t even really like drinikinig. I’m a crystal meth addict. I identify as an alcoholic and I attend AA meetings, but I really don’t like alcohol. But for some reason when that woman talks about Joe Sixpack I really wish I could drink.
Tags: 1st Tradition of AA, alcoholic, alcoholism, America, Budwieser, Honesty, Joe Sixpack, Patriotism, Republican, Sarah Palin, Social Democrat
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/newsquiz.shtml
THE NEWS QUIZ radio 4
click on the top of the page ‘listen to the latest edition’ to hear the latest show. she rips the pi** out of Sarah Palin quite brilliantly. near the end of the show i think..
bless er her brains whould not fit in a ghats chuff!
hehe -
If you drank a six pack of Budweiser a day you would be a “real Belgian” these days, which begs the question of whom is Governor Palin really referring to with that particular moniker. Perhaps she means people with acutely separated abs? Most likely she doesn’t know who she means nor does she care. Personally I think Sarah Palin is there to illustrate what not to be much more than representing what is. For that reason I think her presence on the political landscape is invaluable. She is the anti-mentor, if you will.
I think you will agree that whatever one is, one is less than they could be if they are consuming a six pack a day, even if they appear to be functioning just fine. I think you and I have learned that the hard way which makes the clarity born out of our abstinence all the more precious and many of “us” in particular all the more American.
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I’ve long noted the perverse irony the Bush was considered
“more the guy you wanted to have a beer with” and doesn’t drink. Although I would say “dry drunk” would very much apply. Talk about a man without a program.
I loved this post. Well said.
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