Things are good. Really good. Monday was fantastic. At least that’s what I should feel. That’s what Jim told me Monday night when I told him about my day. “You had an amazing day,” he said.
I did have an amazing day, but I didn’t feel like I did. I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel more like it when I woke this morning, or at any point throughout the day. I didn’t feel like it yesterday or the day before or the day before that.
Aside from learning my grandmother died even yesterday was great. And I don’t feel like it. Dishes are piling up in the kitchen. I haven’t done laundry in over a week. My back hurts and I can’t seem to get out of bed.
At some point I should probably call my doctor.
Tags: depression
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May 21, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Java
Yeah, hon, at some point probably soon you should call your doctor.
You are living on your own now, right? That has advantages and disadvantages. There isn’t anyone else there to keep an eye on you or motivate you to take care of yourself. On the other hand you have a delicious independence. I remember your post when you first moved into your new place. That was a happy time.
I was just reading Rod’s blog. (Kickin’ tina) He talked about the 4th step, I think, and about using the tools and remembering to reach out for help when you need it. Just a thought.
Hope things clear up for you soon.
May 22, 2008 at 6:17 am
bobbie
been there. hope it breaks and the fog lifts. it’s good that you’re noticing. sometimes the blue feels so normal that we forget what normal is.
May 23, 2008 at 12:59 am
warrior scout
this too shall pass…
i can imagine that this reallly sounds trite, but it honestly has become my experience around most feelings. i spent so many years having thoughts, emotions, and feelings, that were punctuated and highlighted with substances that without the “stage lighting”, i sometimes find that life is just nothing special.
but what has been revealed is that life is honestly calm and drama free much of the time, and i needed to adjust my expectatios to keep in tune.
May 23, 2008 at 3:09 am
Chris
That’s not trite. It’s true. But a little SSRI to bring me up to ‘able to get out of bed,’ ‘able to do laundry’ and ‘able to do the dishes’ couldn’t hurt.
Saw the Dr. yesterday. She agreed.
May 26, 2008 at 6:31 am
Java
Glad you saw the doctor. Don’t underestimate the power of those SSRIs! They have kept me at least marginally functional for a decade or more. Good luck!