The Shadow of Meaning

I can’t for the life of me understand why you feel compelled to put spiritual principles in some sort of dialectic opposition to each other. If honesty is what works best for you, fine, there’s not reason to reject or even bash acceptance. Where does all the defensiveness come from?
The Big Book is a report of the experience of the writers. It’s written by men, mostly one for the first 164 pages. It’s dated and at times archaic. It need not be adhered to in some sort of fundamentalist dogmatic fashion, nor need any of its tenets or suggestion constitute some sort of threat. Isn’t that what you left behind with Mormonism?
Frankly, I think NA Basic Text far more readable and helpful, and it doesn’t make me love AA any less. Nothing–nothing—beats the experience, strenghth and hope when one alcoholic talks to another. That’s the heart and soul of the program, not specific words, definitions or books.

the 6 things contain no instruction to ‘accept’.
i would not tell a new person to ‘accept’. i would tell them to do the 6 things, as soon as poss, and then to continue doing them while they complete the steps with a sponsor.
acceptance is a product of the steps, not an intitial ‘action’ taken by newcomers. it is a by product of the action.
only after step 9 do people start really feeling this properly.
mind you, some really ‘get’ the surrender thing sooner than others. but by and large, not till after step 9 do they really start moving into the experience of acceptance. so yeah. it is a fairly redundant instruction to anybody pre ninth.

You are exactly right. I could not agree more. I see newcomers trying to accept their unacceptable behavior all the time. Acceptance is fine, but what I really need is to be shown HOW to accept things. The steps guide me to that. People blurt out acceptance like “serenity NOW!!!” in that episode of Seinfeld. It does not work that way. Telling someone to just accept something is like telling them to just turn it over to God. I’ve made the decision to just turn it over to God many times, and it was still mine until I worked the steps. By working the steps (They are in a chapter called “How it Works”, not “How it Takes”) I turn things over to God. Until I do that I am just thinking about things. I lack the power to accept things. God wants to be in my life. As an alcoholic He has given me a way for that to be so. It is called the Big Book. When I do EXACTLY what the words say, God enters my life in glorious, quiet, powerful ways.

For the newcomer, as I have always understood it, the idea of acceptance is about accepting that he/she is an alcoholic, powerless over his/her alcoholism. No one is going to tell me this is not essential, nor a powerful spiritual principle. It is the very essence of the first step.
I get this feeling you are reacting to a sense that accepting that you had to work at the CP for the present, to survive, was somehow going to tantamount to surrendering to a career there. No one who’s ever witnessed your incredible facility with the language could ever imagine working at the CP was anything but the most temporary waystation, but one that couldn’t have supplied the minimal sustenance it did if you had been unwilling to accept the idea that there is no work without dignity, that being self-supporting through ones own contributions is also a fundamental spiritual principle. It seems to me you practice a great deal of acceptance in the best way possible.

I spoke to one of my favorite Winners yesterday, about this.

And we concluded that Acceptance is indeed the ultimate goal, and it includes embracing, aligning with, and coming to appreciate - in a positive manner - that which is being accepted.

As the ultimate goal, it IS the answer to all our problems. But although full Acceptance isn’t likely to happen TODAY, even though we work on it, it still IS the answer today, to the extent that we can do it today.

Acceptance is also the long-term answer.

I think the other elements (honesty, etc.) are the means, the tools, the actions we use, to approximate that goal.

For example, one of the early Acceptances for alcoholics is the fact that they ARE an alcoholic. Now, maybe it doesn’t happen for a long time, but if they get far enough down the recovery path, their acceptance does eventually include them being grateful, FOR being an alcoholic - because it was this very trait that sent them on their path to enlightenment. A book I’m reading stated it very well, “We were lucky to be sick enough to get well, whereas others may not be.” (Paraphrased, and talking about the serenity 12-steppers may reach that normies may not, in their lives.)

-DeeK

Look what you started, Chris!!!

Did you say “FINISH??”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

-DeeK

i was told once, a long time ago, that “acceptance brings change.”

and usually, that change happens within one’s self.

p