There are a bunch of different kinds of meetings here in Boise. Some of them are nice, upper-middle class, “high bottom” meetings filled with people who never lost a job, never were arrested, not even for a DUI, never divorced and never lost a home. Other meetings are held in smoky club houses and are filled with convicted felons, ex drug dealers, people who had been homeless or who are living in “transitional living” situations, people referred by the courts (many of whom have no intention of staying), the kind of people that make people nervous. Some of those ‘low bottom’ drunks and addicts were once millionaires; my sponsor, for example. Some of them became millionaires in sobriety. That type seems to me to just be blessed with great intelligence and cursed with stubbornness and pride. Actually that’s me. We seem to fall harder, fall farther and ‘let go absolutely’ with more difficulty. But when we get it, if we get it, it’s a powerful thing.

The thing we all have in common is that when we honestly wanted to we found that we could not stop. Some of us were able to stop for extended periods of time but sooner or later we became miserable and the only answer seemed to be to drink or use. And more than that, we needed a solution for the problem of living. Page 52 says, “We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people.”

If you belong, penni, when you look for commonality in those areas, you will be sure to find it. Our stories are the same at the core. Only the sorry details are different.

i meant to say “nobody WHO ISN’T an alcoholic doesn’t struggle with sobriety…” then it may make sense.

thanks for letting me share. that’s all i’ve got

i think because i have my family telling me i don’t belong in AA to knowing where i was headed and not liking it, to sitting in rooms where the folks who speak have had it so. much. worse. than. me. … i still wonder if i fit in.

however, because nobody is isn’t an alcoholic doesn’t struggle with sobriety, i know i am in the right place. i just am so freaking unsure of myself, i don’t know where to sit.

so i sit with the men, sit with the girls. listen. try to arrive early, leave five or ten minutes after. you cannot know people if you don’t offer a little of yourself in the meantime.

i also just read somewhere that simply by showing up or introducing yourself, you are allowing them in on part of your secret. they trust you with theirs when they share.

it is actually an incredible experience. and in saying that, i’ll keep coming back.

And I feel heart, in the message.

-DeeK