Zero to Crazy

in about three days. Sunday I started feeling poor and by Monday morning I was well and truly sick. A trip to the clinic Monday afternoon confirmed what I already knew and put me at home in bed with a fistful of antibiotics to prove it. Since I got home from rehab I have gone to at least one and often more 12 step meetings a day, usually AA though my primary drug of choice was crystal meth. Before the 12 o’clock meeting I went to today, the last meeting I attended was Sunday evening. For and alcoholic and addict like me that is far too long. I simply am not capable of being locked up in my house and staying sane. By this morning I didn’t even feel like I could pray right.

It’s not even like I was ever completely alone, not for long. It was an AA that took me to the doctor and waited hours with me to be seen. I live with another AA but haven’t been much of a roommate, locking myself in my room, afraid of making her sick, too. Looking at my last post, too, I see the early signs of illness. I get a little worn down and my default setting is “why can’t I have a boyfriend? Now?”

Of course all the hours I’ve spent in bed have been filled with all kinds of stuff I want to write about, stuff that seemed brilliant at the time when I was too exhausted to sit up and write, stuff that completely escapes me now. They say ‘meeting makers make it.’ I would add ‘if they do the work.’ Today I’m just grateful to have been able to make it to a meeting, whether I can pick up the work today or not.

Oh, yeah.  In case you weren’t paying attention or didn’t care or whatever, something was wrong with my wordpress installation and the feeds didn’t work.  That’s why I had to reinstall it from scratch on the 16th.  The backup of the database that contains this blog was corrupt, too, so basically the whole fucker was shot - anyway.  Today I recovered (praise be to the merciful and beneficent Google) the last of the lost posts and have restored them.  I have no intention of restoring lost comments.  Those of you who posted them can do that very well yourselves.

Blessings be.