The Begining of Recovery - Final Post on the Random Journal Blog

I’ll be gone for awhile. I’m checking in to a rehab and I expect I’ll be gone for at least a month. I just need to do something about this problem before someone does something about it for me.

I’m not happy. I’m not content. I don’t want to go on living like this. And while there is still the possibility of salvaging a happy life out of the wreckage that I’ve become I figure I owe it to myself to do what I can to fix this.

At this point I’ve tried everything but in-patient treatment so that’s the route I’ll try next. I’ll be going to Road to Recovery in Pocatello, Idaho. I hear they’re pretty good so I expect that I will make some progress there. I’ve been sober more days now than I have been at any point in more than a year and that’s a good feeling. But I’m going to ask for your prayers again. I’m not too proud to ask for divine intervention.

The first time I tried crystal meth I knew that it was going to be a problem. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt OK inside my skin. That was 18 years ago. The most clean time I’ve put together since then is three years. But I can’t go on living to use and using to live. I haven’t been happy in forever. So I figure while I’ve still got one more recovery in me I may as well make the most of it and pull out the big guns just to see if it helps.

I’ll try to be in touch, to let you know what’s going on but I don’t know if I’ll be able to or even if they have Internet access available there. If you don’t hear from me before, look for new posts beginning Feb. 16; new posts all about my new life in sobriety and hopefully new posts that are more worth reading.

Until then, may God bless and keep you.