Day 8 Off Crystal Meth

I’m not sure if I know what I was getting myself in to moving into the Compas House. It’s a theraputic community run by S.H.I.P., Inc. which is a not-for-profit here in Boise that helps people in recovery stay sober and have access to affordable housing. The “TC” includes housing which I share with nine other guys, food, transportation and classes/classes/classes, case management, and just about everything else I can think of.

Here’s the rub. I’m the kind of guy that thinks hell is other people. I listen to music that few in the criminal justice system have ever listened to (thank you for moving me Kasey Chambers and Patty Griffin) and my serenity has a positive relationship to how well I feel understood. I’m not ‘out’ but you’d have be stupid to not notice and there is a certain level of gay ‘humor’ that goes along with any group of straight guys that makes me a little uncomfortable.

That notwithstanding, I feel I’m in the right place. My energy is comming back. I feel lucid. I seem to be able to complete most things. I still find concentrating to be a bit difficult but I feel stronger physically. I still feel like my best friend died, but Tina was a terrible friend and in spite of feeling like I’m on the right path I feel sad about the future. And about the past. I still feel like it would have been easier to die.